< Filthy British First Timers 3 R18 DVD available

Released: 2006
Notes: Rude Britannia
Notes and Reviews

Review copy courtesy of Rude Britannia

Trisha, a woman in her mid twenties who introduces herself as a first timer, is sitting on a bed with black dude Rob. [NB. Rob introduces himself and is billed as Dirty Dog. Readers know there is only one Dirty Dog and this modestly endowed upstart will be referred to as Rob, or possibly just dog]. They quickly get into the action, kissing and undressing each other before Trisha sucks Rob's cock to hardness. Fucking in missionary and doggy with some minor variations, the sex is pretty breathless and seems to leave Trisha well satisfied after taking Rob's spunk in her mouth.

Slim blonde Sheryl is already naked on the bed when the scene opens and she makes a grab for a massive double ender. Unfortunately she works little more than the bell end into her pussy, but a decent sized black vibe goes in most of the way. Suddenly Chris's naked cock appears and without much ado Sheryl takes it in her mouth. The cock sucking continues on the bed before Sheryl impales her rangy frame on Chris's cock. With nice little tits, a tight athletic body and long long legs, Sheryl just goes through the motions. Fine as the motions are there's little chemistry here before Sheryl wanks Chris's cock into her face.

Big and bold Indian girl Tasha can't wait to get it on with Rob on the bed. Plenty of noisy kissing as the pair undress and move into oral, although Tasha keeps her bra below her rather flabby post-natal breasts to give them a little more support. Periods of noisy fucking are interspersed with periods of sucking as the pair work up a bit of a sweat. Just before the facial, Tasha agrees to be fucked up the arse but it is unclear (thanks to a big bum and very poor lighting) whether this actually occurs.

Kerry has brought the evening standard dated 28th July 2003 to prove she's actually 18. She simply undresses and spreads her legs while the cameraman speaks, eventually checking to see if she's fully awake. Kerry attacks her pussy with a big black vibrator then Chris appears in the usual way, i.e. as a flaccid cock poked into Kerry's face. Chris does his best to get some reaction from his partner by plunging his cock deep into Kerry's pussy and pushing her legs behind her ears, but neither this nor cowgirls or spoons seem to get much response. By the time they reach doggy Chris is already starting to lose wood, but the pair repeat all the positions before Chris wanks into Kerry's face. Kerry appears in the first film of this series in a much better scene with John Mason (and it's not often you'll read that in a review), but despite showing more charm in that scene, she doesn't seem to have done anything else.

Together on a bed, Scarlet points out that she only met French Youcef half an hour ago but they're going to give us a proper show. They undress separately on a bed covered in red sheets, then Scarlet sucks Youcef's short but thick cock hard before they fuck in all the positions including a cowgirl shot from the guy's pov (an under-used shot in British productions but enormously sexy). Scarlet is an attractive tall girl with long hair, super tits and a nice body which I should have found seriously sexy but for a few problems. Natural coloured popsox just don't enhance a girls' sexuality, neither do the paw print tattoos on her inner thigh. The scene, and the film, ends abruptly after a decent cumshot over Scarlet's back.

Oh dear, oh dear! Rude Britannia seem to be on a relentless march downmarket with these amateurish gonzo productions which are now their standard fare. By the time you get to the second sequel, and some spin off titles as well, one expects the poor director to be learning but here they turn in scenes that are as boring as the director's voice.

Unlike many other films I wouldn't quarrel with the girls' claims that these are their first scenes and that most of them won't be seen again. Tricia is plain but with a nice clean body and in better shape, which may be the same for Sheryl although she looked uncomfortable enough not to make a second performance. Tasha has already appeared elsewhere as has Kerry, although this was obviously her first shoot and despite being young, nubile and bespectacled, was wholly unarousing. Only Scarlet could save the day with a bit of attitude and a sexy body, for which she gets the box cover picture albeit called Gemma on there. Unfortunately her efforts are entirely blunted by the local radio soundtrack which moves from 70's Elton John to the traffic report and an advert for HP barbeque sauce by gravelly-voiced comedian and my old sarhf London school chum Arthur Smith, while the lovely Scarlet takes it doggystyle. In fact the ambient sound is a problem throughout with the gain turned up so much to try to catch the merest grunt from, say, Kerry, that the silence roars, while the street sounds that bug all of these productions intrude. One for obsessive collectors only.

Review by Bayleaf
November 2006

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